
In an effort to identify with myself I've reread
this list and
this list again. I've changed a lot. Maybe this is a sign of maturity. I hope not. For instance, I no longer want to be
#3. Now I'd settle for pretty much what I am with a little more balance. I've rexamined
#15 over the last year and have come to realize that it means something different for me. I do suffer...my emotions are a mess and all I want to do is wine. I mean, whine.
#22 - I threw another one in the dumpster in the dark of the night about 3 months ago. I cried. A lot. But, you know what? I'm so happy. Nothing determines my happiness in the morning but me. I like to tell myself this was a big sacrifice in the name of good health...when in reality I have access at the Y. Hmmm.
#97 - It's now my favorite cuisine. Proof that our taste buds change every 7 years. We hit our
local Thai joint very, very often. They know us all by name and it feels so wonderful. I went in today and wanted something that wasn't on the menu. They made it for me anyway.
100 - I've gotten over this hurdle. I love feeding people.
#4 - This is really what I set out intending to talk about in this post. This sounds like pure misery. My thoughts lately are a bit out of balance. A bit on tastes:
nam pla prik pbon is the perfect balance of sweet, salty, spicy, sour. If it's too much of either it's not very palatable. I won't go into where my thoughts are off balance but a silent retreat would be pure torture. To be alone with all that's rolling around in my head and not have anything to distract myself with...ugh! Instead, I'd like to be a two-year-old again. No thought but for the minute. No stress. Not really an expectation. Sounds blissful. Like my baby up there. It makes my heart ache to watch him sleep and wonder what's in store for him. Pain I won't be able to heal, battles I won't get to fight.
70 - 71 - If you know me well...I'm curious to know how I come across? I'm still not sure.
78 - This is still true. I don't know why it's so hard for me. There are currently 6 loads waiting to be put away.
88 - Thanks to BPump I'm back in heels. Love.
93 - It's by far the most disgusting thing in my house. So, so gross.
And
this. Which is a great appetite suppressant.