Thursday, December 02, 2010

Quiet Reflection

In an effort to identify with myself I've reread this list and this list again. I've changed a lot. Maybe this is a sign of maturity. I hope not. For instance, I no longer want to be #3. Now I'd settle for pretty much what I am with a little more balance. I've rexamined #15 over the last year and have come to realize that it means something different for me. I do suffer...my emotions are a mess and all I want to do is wine. I mean, whine. #22 - I threw another one in the dumpster in the dark of the night about 3 months ago. I cried. A lot. But, you know what? I'm so happy. Nothing determines my happiness in the morning but me. I like to tell myself this was a big sacrifice in the name of good health...when in reality I have access at the Y. Hmmm. #97 - It's now my favorite cuisine. Proof that our taste buds change every 7 years. We hit our local Thai joint very, very often. They know us all by name and it feels so wonderful. I went in today and wanted something that wasn't on the menu. They made it for me anyway. 100 - I've gotten over this hurdle. I love feeding people. #4 - This is really what I set out intending to talk about in this post. This sounds like pure misery. My thoughts lately are a bit out of balance. A bit on tastes: nam pla prik pbon is the perfect balance of sweet, salty, spicy, sour. If it's too much of either it's not very palatable. I won't go into where my thoughts are off balance but a silent retreat would be pure torture. To be alone with all that's rolling around in my head and not have anything to distract myself with...ugh! Instead, I'd like to be a two-year-old again. No thought but for the minute. No stress. Not really an expectation. Sounds blissful. Like my baby up there. It makes my heart ache to watch him sleep and wonder what's in store for him. Pain I won't be able to heal, battles I won't get to fight. 70 - 71 - If you know me well...I'm curious to know how I come across? I'm still not sure. 78 - This is still true. I don't know why it's so hard for me. There are currently 6 loads waiting to be put away. 88 - Thanks to BPump I'm back in heels. Love. 93 - It's by far the most disgusting thing in my house. So, so gross.

And then there's this conversation. Made me laugh...again.
And these photos. Which made me swoon.
And this. Which is a great appetite suppressant.
And this video. Which is beyond great.

11 comments:

Tim and Melissa said...

Haahaa-that last video is great! Cool reflection of the past...you make me wanna go look back on my blog now!

Amber said...

I've been thinking about buying another scale...I was just thinking yesterday "why? I go to the gym 5 days a week, surely thats enough weight check ins?" I don't know why I feel the need for hourly checks. Dumb :P

Shannon said...

i actually do really well staying away from it at the y. i never weigh after eating or drinking a single thing...so chances of me getting to the gym before breakfast are nill. that said...i did sign up for the holiday challenge and i had to do a weigh-in. so i weighed myself yesterday morning to see where i was at...and again today...hoping it doesn't become a pattern.

shaama said...

That tongue is disguisting. Cannot believe you cooked it and ate it. what brave men you have in your house. What was really in our lasagna the other night?? :) HA! And...I totally don't see you as aggressive. Not at all.

Shannon said...

shaama - i'll never cook tongue again....gag. thinking twice about coming here again for food though, eh?! i'm pretty sure colin is!

i swear..the lasagna was pure pig. pork. pig. yeah, pork. there's a reason why they have names other than the animal.

Sue said...

How you come across? Well I think you are just plain absoposolutely wonderful! Best cousin ever! Just don't tell the other ones because they might be jealous of your bestness. You also happen to have the cutest kids I have ever had the luck to cross paths with.

Sue said...

OOOh! And by the way, that was Kami..not Sue :)

Mindy said...

you have changed. i've noticed it as well. in a good way of course!

Pam said...

loved looking back over your lists - yes you've changed - in a good way!

Sara, Justin, Simon and Max said...

Hi, girl!! I always wish I had more time to spend with you and of course I'm kicking myself for not getting that accomplished when we lived up there. I love your personality, if that helps you any! :)

Anita said...

you do have adorable kids- had to check out the caption contest post.

Interesting that you compared the lists. I wondered at the time those lists were being written (I mean everyone was writing them) what good they'd be but this is interesting. Almost makes me wish I'd done one... or maybe I did and forgot??? ha. Better go check!
Back before the tea party, I came across your blog somehow or other and saw one of your lists. I remember glancing at it and agreeing with you re fabric softener. Ever noticed what it does to your washer (if you don't regularly clean it)? Thanks- I'll keep the stuff away from my skin.