Thursday, February 18, 2010

I promise to post something substantial* soon. I'm just a titch busy living life at the present. I just had to post this link. In case any of you are emotionally stunted like me and need a good cry. I had snot pouring out of my nose. Nice image, no?

*The link is substantial. Very much so.

19 comments:

Amber said...

Oh man...I read this last week and cried and cried. It's beautifully written.

Lani said...

You aren't kidding. I read this last night and bawled my eyes out.

Neisha said...

I had read that too. very touching

Laura Ingalls Wilder said...

I said I wasn't going to cry . . . didn't work.

Ben, Heather and kids said...

wow.. incredible link!

Mindy said...

i cried too, but then i was annoyed with the writer afterward. i mean does anyone really go to that much trouble to make their life look perfect? handmade favors, champagne, candles, birth music, the perfect nightgown to wear immediately after giving birth, professional photographers on hand to document everything & then half naked photos with the baby a week later? everyone probably thinks i'm heartless now. i do realize that having something like this happen would be shocking & heartbreaking. i just don't get all the effort that goes forth to make life appear to be perfect. ok, i'm curious what other ppl think. i promise not to get offended if i'm the only one that is thinking this way.

Shannon said...

amen, sister. that's why i said that i'm a bit busy living my life at the moment...i don't feel the need to blog about it. i was very touched by the writing...i would have cried even if there wasn't a single photo. so, if i was the type of person to blog about everything....today it would be how mad i am at my 3 year old for getting into something she shouldn't have and breaking my most favorite mug in the whole wide world in the process. it was the one single "item" i owned that i loved and made me feel great while using. i was super duper close to crying.

Mindy said...

i fell in love with blogging & facebook. now, i'm a bit annoyed by it all, but i know the way i'm currently feeling won't last. maybe i'm trying to find a happy medium?? sorry about your favorite mug, shannon. that sucks. and to me that is life. our favorite mugs get broken. babies are born with down syndrome. none of it is perfect, but all of that is what makes life bittersweet.

Shannon said...

well said. i'm so annoyed with a lot of things right now and it's all just fluff. nothing that matters.

Mj said...

mindy, i noticed the same thing. i used to be a care provider through an agency that helped families with special needs kids..their beautiful girl had Down's Syndrome and then had to have a very serious heart surgery. I found the mom to be one of the strongest people i've ever met...and she was thankful for the experience. i have no idea how i would react if i was in the same situation. i do know i never had champagne on hand..or even a nightgown. i admire people who do great posts but it does take a lot of time and energy...but, Shannon..i miss your posts! but, i'm glad you're living life....to be honest i didn't read every word so i'll shut up and go read it again..only i don't feel like crying right now...

Mj said...

i still didn't read every word but i just wanted to say..well, i'm crying anyway, but, my insight is this...she had a wonderful pediatrician! what a neat lady she is! she was a great communicator! not all doctors are that way.

sg said...

wow! i didn't think i'd cry either...and was already tearing up at about the 2nd sentence. i do agree about all the "fluff" stuff with having the baby (99% of the time it's not all 'celebrity-like', haha). but I really do appreciate that she put into words for the WORLD to read about the "horrible" feelings she had at the beginning. those are feelings that- most of the time-most mom's keep private and that's a heavy burden. i think it's because (or maybe it's just me) we think we'll be looked at as a 'lesser' or 'horrible' mom if we were to actually voice those feelings. i do think it's getting better tho. so i'll forgive her for looking gorgeous after L&D, and having awesome pictures of it all. =)

Tara said...

Well, I probably shouldn't say this, but this post annoyed me A LOT, maybe i'm just a hard person, but i wasn't close to tearing up. Why is she so open with her feelings of not liking her baby? The older daughter will probably read this some time and she'll be able to tell her younger sister that mommy didn't really want her to begin with...mommy didn't like that she was "different" when she first saw her. Big sister can really make little sister feel inferior. I understand the mother having the feelings she did...but hey, this is the INTERNET...those intimate feelings are for the WORLD to know. Why would you want everyone knowing that you struggled liking your daughter when you first met her??? I would be completely embarrassed to share something so horrible

Jana said...

Shannon, you need to put a stronger warning with that link, something like 'Proceed with caution if you are 7 months pregnant!'

A very touching story, I can totally relate to how the author feels.

I would personally have very similar feelings, and I think that is what makes this such a strong story, because she is so honest about what she went through emotionally. I would hopefully be able to overcome the struggle and disappointment, and to love my child no matter what.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was amazing. It wouldn't have been near as touching if she hadn't been so honest about what she felt, and I don't think most moms would have felt different. I can't criticize her for her feelings & I admire that she could write them, & share. Hopefully it will help others who go thru the same thing.

Jenny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenny said...

I agree with Mindy about everything being too perfect, like the handmade favors, etc. But I enjoyed her music so much that I've added it to my blog because it's slower. I have become addicted to her blog, her pictures, her writing. Honestly though, I thought that she is very very lucky to have a special daughter. I wouldn't wish it for anyone, but a Down's Syndrome child is usually extremely loving and happy. And for someone who would give her left arm for a new baby but can't have one, I'm jealous. Silly? Maybe.

Shannon said...

Jenny - have you looked into doing foster care? That's something that's been brewing in the back of my mind lately. I'm scared to think of it though...afraid of making an attachment that wouldn't be permanent.

Amber said...

Well...I think that in being so open and honest, she made her seemingly perfect life more real. I think that pretty favors and everything were a touch I can see coming from a photographer, because all those little things are fun things to photograph, and some people are just more into making everything perfect when their babies are born. We never sang happy birthday or did birthday cake when our babies were born, but some people do. I also don't think she ever said she didn't like her baby...and she stated, and this is the line that went over and over in my head "love me, oh please love me...I know I'm not what you expected but please love me" or something similar...and the whole point of the post was to work through not getting the baby that was "perfect" in her head, but still getting the perfect baby. The professional photographers on hand were her friends...so it's not like she hired them and reading it, I would have loved to have a friend who could have photographed the minute I saw my baby for the first time. I think that seeing those pictures after helped her with her feelings of not knowing if she loved (in the sense that she smiled and kissed her etc) her baby...and they proved that she did. I guess I think it took a lot for her to be so open and honest and I respect her so much for it. Any one of us probably would have felt the same way, but maybe wouldn't have the guts to admit it. One more thing...I don't think it was a matter of not liking her or not wanting her...it was more a matter of realizing for a brief second thats she wasn't what she expected and then loving her to pieces anyway.
I find it interesting that you were thinking about foster care, Shannon...we are as well :)