Friday, May 02, 2008

My Day (so far) in Bullets

  • We had a level II ultrasound today to further investigate some fluid in the baby's kidneys. Everything came back clear and we have a healthy, very active baby boy. Very evidently a boy!!
  • I had the morning to myself and I spent half at Barnes & Noble reading books I'd never buy. I laughed out loud at this one and couldn't resist copying a few (okay, several almost the whole book) favorites:
  1. My one regret in motherhood is that I can't slap people.
  2. Some nights when my husband and I go to bed I roll over and "play dead". All I can think is --- "I just can't handle it if one more person pokes me today".
  3. We were in the grocery store and when we hit the wine aisle she screamed "that's mommy's juice!"
  4. Once I realized my husband was not my girlfriend, it made my life so much easier.
  5. I get annoyed at my kids for picking their noses. But I do it too.
  6. My husband thinks I'm sad when he goes on business trips but secretly I'm happy that my "third child" is out of the house!
  7. I know the exact day my son was conceived because it was the only day we had sex that month.
  8. My strict "no toy guns" policy eventually relaxed into a "if you make it yourself" policy and then finally into a "if you shoot at someone, aim at their feet" policy.
  9. I never, ever hire a good-looking babysitter. Why put candy in front of a baby? (This one is especially funny to me since Nolan asks me where we're going whenever I actually get dressed.)
  10. The one thing I wish I had is a wife.
  11. I tell my husband I am going to go potty but actually lock myself in the bathroom, sit on the edge of the tub and read People.

Now you need to go leave your secret in my comments and make me feel like even more of a normal parent!!!

  • I spent the other half of the morning moseying through the Galleria -- the upturned-nose mall of Edina. I have found the secret to feeling fat and fabulous! $210 designer maternity jeans! I looked amazing. And I never think that about myself. A $42 maternity camisole---oh how I loved you for the two minutes you were on.

Continuing on through the mall I was reminded why I hate shopping. I hate finding amazing things that I could never in my wildest dreams justify buying:

  1. $109 toddler sundress
  2. $268 summer skirt
  3. $48 maternity t-shirt that says "knocked up"
  4. $68 silver pet food scoop. Okay, I didn't want this. But...what in the world? Seriously?
  5. $45/each gorgeous pink chandelier shades.

There are THREE baby boutiques in the mall. Which is really sad because it means people actually buy all of this overpriced stuff. Which was really evident by all the yuppie mommies pushing their $1,000+ strollers. They'd never in their wildest dreams consider a Graco. Oh how wildly different our worlds are. I'm happy in mine --- are they in theirs? I ended up splurging and bought myself some $12 hand lotion.

20 comments:

Cheri said...

If you want my confessions, you're going to have to enable annonymous comments.

Glad your ultrasound went well!

Shannon said...

done! now leave your comment and everyone will know you were first... =) or wait until someone else comments! maybe i'll leave an anon one too...

Anonymous said...

i'm wearing a bra for the first time this week...nevermind i have been shopping, to meeting, and had company for supper

Anonymous said...

I have locked myself in the bathroom in recent history. It was the best thing I did for myself and the kids all day.

Anonymous said...

i only change diapers if they're dirty.

my kids learned to scream from me.

Anonymous said...

I find that if I don't acknowledge my kids presence at the side of my bed first thing in the morning, as in look them in the eye and greet them with a cheerful good morning, my morning goes a lot smoother. I sometimes can even get a couple more winks of shuteye.

Anonymous said...

i hardly ever feed my kid lunch - what's wrong with grazing all day?!

Lani said...

I'm so glad the ultrasound turned out a-ok. Yay for little boys. ;) Wouldn't it be fun to just be able to buy anything you wanted on a whim? *sigh* But I agree... I think I'm probably happier doing without.

Anonymous said...

I like the Galleria in Edina, I do pay $248 for designer jeans and will buy expensive strollers, I would be embarrased to have a graco. Oh, I'm also happy, in love, exercise every day and go to meeting. However, I do not think less of those who do not want what I have or are happy without. Let's not be so negative. My husband dosn't alway understand me, but I don't always understand him either.

Shannon said...

i'm trying to figure out how the "exercise every day" thing fits in....

i wasn't being negative...i was being observant.

i don't think less of yuppie mommies, if anything i envy them.

okay, so i'm being judgemental here, but what does it say about you that you'd be embarassed to have a graco...a wee bit about image are we?

Anonymous said...

How much you wanna bet the last 'anonymous' poster was posting for kicks....either that or that person is really that snooty. I LOVE my graco stroller...both of them!

Anonymous said...

Let's HOPE the person embarrassed to have a Graco stroller was kidding. How could anyone be that snooty?! I'm seriously disgusted after reading that comment. In fact it's a good thing I don't know who said it!

Anonymous said...

I would play dead in bed if I was married to Evan as well + I would have stopped in the wine at the grocery store to quench my thirst!

Anonymous said...

"I never, ever hire a good-looking babysitter. Why put candy in front of a baby?" so is this why I was never hired ehh!

Anonymous said...

About value of items in society, it is the american dream. In this wonderful capitalist society, by working hard in hopes to better myself, my family, someday my kids, is what makes me feel accomplished every night when my head hits the pillow. If you have the money and you wish to spend it, go for it, because there will be someone out there thinking of a new product, a new marketing and a new manufacturer making it. Come on snobish mall, thanks for the stereotype Shannon, I regular that mall, well kinda, just for the Good Earth.

Anonymous said...

Envy. you shouldn't envy anyone, unless of course it is Evan, well need I say more. It' been fun on the annonymous posting.

Shannon said...

are you volunteering your babysitting services, g? by volunteer i mean, FREE. i can put the $ toward my insanely expensive stroller. that has no storage because storage is UGLY and for Graco people.

i'm all about spending money on nice things if you can afford it. hence, my t-bone for supper. i like to spend my money on food rather than Prada and Gucci.

have you tried Crave yet?

i'll leave anon up just for you. don't say i've never done anything for ya. besides, it brings the real characters out of the woodwork.

oh, and a word on the stereotype....it's so true. i walked into almost every store in my Liz Lange Target maternity jeans, some off-brand t-shirt and jacket. did i get the same service compared to the "seven for all mankind jeans and manolo blahnik heels" mommy? NOPE. not narry a look. and i thought i was looking pretty snazzy. i mean, i had clothes on that weren't pajamas.

oh! and i envy you for getting to spend so much time with husband. now if you'll excuse me, i'm going to "play alive".

Anonymous said...

Well done... I wish I could as elegantly put my thoughts to words as you do. Something to work towards I suppose. Maybe the reason you did not get any service, or attention from the store clerks as you would liked or wished is not because of your sweet Target boutique outfit, but rather because your face and body movements conveyed exactly what you were thinking when browsing about the store. uhm...

Shannon said...

you're probably right. although i had forgotten to spritz myself with my money scented perfume....maybe that's it !!!!

ethel said...

my confession? i was terrified to take my babies out in public..especially after the first one. it just seemed a monumental task. that first time out to the grocery store with 2 was monumental. now it seems strange but at the time it was severely daunting. my secrets? once i "almost" threw all three boys in the time out chair. the same chair. i took a picture of them there in the same chair to prove it. for some reason i can't fathom my kids do not fear me. i wish they did.