Thursday, June 09, 2011

The fingers must be educated, the thumb is born knowing.

My baby* hasn't sucked his thumb for four days. Not for lack of want. The thumb is ravaged with saliva induced eczema. Cracked, swollen and bleeding. We've kept it covered in ointment and a bandage. He woke this morning at 5 am and started to cry. Sobbing. It was coming from his heart. I truly think he finally realized that he has to let go. He was crying out of heartache. The outpouring of tears lasted until 7:15 when he finally fell asleep in my arms, entirely spent. I understood. It's so hard for me to let go of things that hurt me yet comfort me. I'm too familiar with that aching heart. I think the expression of grief has allowed Cole to move on. To find another [safe] source of comfort. There are so many lessons my children will teach me.

*How long can I call him "baby?"

10 comments:

Mindy said...

he'll ALWAYS be your baby.

kaia is trying to learn thumb sucking. it always happens after we spend some time with thumb suckers. last night she tried real hard, but doesn't quite get the hang of it!

Shannon said...

that is awesome!!

Pam said...

we still call our youngest "baby" - she's 10.

Neisha said...

i agree with Mindy..he will ALWAYS be your baby

Lani said...

I am a total sap. This made me cry. Symbolizes change to me and how sometimes we desperately don't want it, but it's a coming for us anywayz.

Shannon said...

lani - exactly.

Jacinda said...

Beautifully written...I'm pregnant and emotional and you made me cry. Letting go can be such a struggle. Thanks for sharing this:)

Little Miss Nobody said...

What a touching way of expressing this ... I understand. And I still think I'm my mom's baby ... or maybe she finally stopped thinking of me that way when I had my own kids.

Anita said...

such a sweet pic!

Mj said...

awwwwwww. none of mine were thumb suckers but i totally get the lesson anyway. thanks!