Monday, March 07, 2011

Sluggards we are not.

We probably all have something we've been told since we were young. Something we hate to hear. It grates on our nerves. Quite possibly because it rings too true. For me? Slow down. Slow down. Slow down.

I'm fast. I am. A few examples:

I talk fast. Really fast. I've managed to slow down a bit over the years. I have. If I ever leave a message on our voicemail at home and listen to it later I'm always baffled. Who can understand that?

I drive fast. I brake fast. I change lanes fast. There can't be anything in my window or it slides from side to side. I make people carsick. I think. I should.

I eat fast. If you eat slow and I've eaten with you... guarantee it was painful for me. So painful. Eating slow is torturous. Plus, your food gets cold. Aside from my kids, who likes tepid food? I inhale. Oh, and this isn't the point - but if you're a girl who orders half a salad, takes half an hour to eat it and then proclaims "I'm so stuffed." - I never, ever want to eat with you. So annoying.

I run fast. This is why I could never be a long distance runner. Plodding along at 6 mph...zzzz. I run hard. 8-10 mph for a few minutes and back off to breathe. Then amp it up again. None of this painfully slow jogging thing.

I type fast. I was a rockin' awesome transcriptionist. My fingers FLY, baby. Just ask anyone with whom I have rapid-fire email response. Watching my husband finger peck is excruciating. I have to take over.

I write fast. Not sayin' it's legible. Probably why I can never reread convention notes.

I just plain move fast. Cook fast. Bake fast. Brush fast. Walk fast. Read fast. Oh, yes...I read fast. Very. And play Dutch Blitz with me. Dare ya.

Interesting thing though. I have low blood pressure. I have a low resting heart rate. So low that they generally have to take it again. So, maybe I balance myself out after all.

That brings us to the doll that is most definitely my daughter. She got a giftie from her boy crush yesterday afternoon. She colored the whole thing in 30 minutes.

Ain't no restraint for this girl. Save some for later? Why? These are cacti stained glass pictures that came from Arizona. Her exclamation as I take the picture: "It's like I'm a princess in the desert!"

She's convinced she knows all there is to know about Arizona now. Absolutely. Dad is off registering this spirited thing for Kindergarten. How did that happen? I must blink fast.

So, while I was tempted to include "learn to savor" in my resolution list - I know it's just not going to happen. It's not in me. Apparently, it's a trait I've passed on to my daughter as well. Just the other night she was eating a sucker. Like me, she can't suck them. Chew, chew, chew. All done. I resolve not to tell her to "slow down." But, of course I have to tell her something that will stay with her for life. What is it? Hmmm. "Tone it down." "Take it down a notch." "Take it down an octave." Eyiyiyiii.


Anita said...

you put a smile on my face fast, too! ;)

And she is like a princess in the desert. That was cute!

ps- I just won't try to keep up. Thank goodness, I don't run at all- fast or slow or, well, at all. I eat pretty fast, though...

Cheri said...

hilarious. and so true. things i've learned from shannon

if i ever need to rob a bank, shannon drives the get away car

never read a book in the same room as shannon, all the page turning is too distracting

never try to get shannon to watch a sunset when she is eating cake

Shaama said...

Can I get an AMEN? I just inhaled my dinner, people say I mumble and they can't understand any of my messages because I talk to fast. I however, will never run next to you...that is way too itimidating.

shannon g said...

haha! i like cheri's comments too!
i can't believe the princess will be in kindergarten already! i know her and tyler are the same age (just 1.5 mo apart) but his is just after labor day, so he has one more year at home with momma here.
is her boy crush in AZ her cousin? =)

Lani said...

This post is awesome. It was a "fast" read. I found myself reading it fast. Thanks for mentally preparing me for when we see each other in St. Louis. ;)

Neisha said...

when I'm out shopping in the mall or even walking, I do it fast. If I have somewhere to get to, I want to get plodding along!

Pam said...

This post made me smile! I love cheri's comments, too!

Shannon said...

shannon- no...we frown on incest around here ; ) haha! her crush is our med student that lives down the road...he went to AZ for spring break.

Tara said...

I want to play Dutch Blitz with you..i quit playing that game 'cause everyone was so SLOW. Love, love love that game!

mom said...

awwwe how about a simple..WHOA..
i remember saying it often..slow down...

Mindy said...

and the funny thing is that evan is slow. not like brain power slow, but living life kind of slow. and nolan seems the same to me. oh & you win at dutch blitz because you cheat!!

Shannon said...

bahahahaha!!! i was waiting for you to comment on that, mindy!! yes. well. i beg to differ! =)

yes, evan is. the. exact. opposite. he's a lollygagger. or whatever that word is. and nolan is a dead copycat of his father. avrie and i - we get along swell. or try to ; )

Mj said...

not me. you wouldn't like eating with me or my 3rd son. who drives me nuts because he eats even slower than i. i am not fast. however , i do drive fast.
i think that's all i do fast. oh..i sleep too fast.
loved your list, your insights and your daughter is going to be so hard to drop off at Kindergarten...are you sure you're not going to homeschool ? you would be fast!

Little Miss Nobody said...

That's a bit ironic to read, considering all MY life I've heard "hurry up!" I think I would drive you bonkers ... we'd better not eat lunch together :-)And my son is just the same ... actually even slower than I am, which I never thought was possible. I am in equal denial of the fact that I'll have a kindergartener this fall, too! Good luck!

emily said...

oh, I remember racing in Moore's typing class and NEVER being able to beat you at speed ARE fast at that!
I hope I get to see you at our reunion in July! You ARE coming aren't you?