Monday, February 14, 2011

"The Cake" Day.



This makes me look a titch crazy -or something. So this one goes out to those I feel closest to - those who know I'm a bit fuzzy around the edges and love me anyways. Especially to my husband -the glue that holds me together. I've come to realize as of late that it's the little mundane details of life that really make life what it is. And a grand adventure it is. So here's my adventure for Saturday, February 12th.

I eat breakfast. Evan, Nolan, Alan and Tanner leave for the day to skii Welch. It's 8:30 and I start work on THE CAKE. That one that I may have mentioned. It has 16 whole eggs and 11 whites. It's supposed to be gorgeous. Let's remember that. It's now Noon. My mom burned a pot of soup. Apparently, that's possible. We ate it for lunch. Except for Wyatt - he ate a cup of cheese curds and a piece of bread with mayo. Gag. How are that kid's eyes not brown? No clue. I eat in 12 minutes and am back to assemble the cake. It's put together and ready to sit in the freezer for a bit before frosting. We nestle it amongst the 350 pounds of meat in the garage freezer. Let's confirm: yes, I worked on the cake for a solid 3 1/2 hours.

Now it's time for a break. Bundle the kids up in their snow gear and Gpa/Gma haul them off in a huge sled on the snowmobile to the monster sledding hill out back. I strap on snow shoes, plug myself into my ipod and pump myself up for the 2 mile hike to the back 40*. It's glorious. I can sing my wee heart out and not a soul can hear me. I rocked some "Hey Juliet," a little Soul Asylum for reminiscing about old times, some Ga-Ga, Bush, Smash Mouth, Led Zeppelin, Kesha, Feist, Colin B, Kanye, Pink. It was a good ol' time. A well rounded bunch. Finally meet up with the crew at the hill and have a blast tubing farmer style. Walk up the hill? What a ridiculous notion. That's what the Polaris is for. Jarred my back a bit...but all in the name of good fun. So, that's okay. Gang heads back and I start the trek back home thinking about how much I'm going to enjoy eating my cake guilt-free. I have a spring in my step...this day is awesome...I love the Lord, I love my family, I love my friends, LIFE is good.

The cake. I open the freezer. My cake. My heart drops. SOMEONE. THREW. A. FULL. PORK LOIN. ON. TOP. OF. MY CAKE. MY 3.5 hour labor of "I'm snowshoeing 4 miles for a piece of this." Uh. "MOM? What happened to my CAKE??" Apparently, my dear, darling nephew decided he was going to help himself to the ice cream. And THREW A FULL PORK LOIN ON TOP OF MY CAKE.

See, people (okay, mostly my dear, dear husband who has no qualms about letting Cole eat a sandwich without wiping his hands at least 6 times per half**) think I'm a bit OCD about certain things and a little bit controlling about certain things. But. It's for MY OWN benefit. See, I know where my kids are at all times. I know pretty much what they're doing at all times. I stress over and over again about "eat neat. don't make a mess." because I don't like vacuuming daily. I don't like wiping my table off constantly. So, therefore, don't make a mess...there's not one to clean up. My kids know this. Also. ASK FOR THINGS THAT ARE BEYOND YOUR REACH. I WILL HELP YOU. Please. Let me help you. So I can stay relatively sane. Please. Okay, so I might need to relax a bit. But. If I would have been here...I would have known where the kids were. And, trust me, they would NOT HAVE BEEN IN THE FREEZER CHUCKING PORK LOINS ON MY CAKE.

I manage to sort of salvage the cake. I open the fridge to get my bowl of lovingly and painstakingly prepared buttercream frosting. I discover it's done some funky separating thing. Grand. Lovely. I rewhip it the best I can. Which is not good. It's watery. It's loose. At least it's delicious. I slap it on the cake and not-so-gently throw it in the cake carrier*** and toss it in the fridge. Best of luck to it. I'm so sitting down with a cup of tea now.****

I can't stay out of my Mother's kitchen. It's big and gorgeous and big and full of counters and big. And - the best part - I can bake and cook to my heart's content and she'll clean up after me. It's an excellent trade-off. It's times like these that I wonder wistfully what my life would be like if I'd followed through with culinary school. And then I gently remind myself that chef's have terrible hours, bad backs, excess flesh and that I wouldn't have my children. That's enough to bring me back to the present. To the apple pie muffins that I'm whipping up for breakfast. I'm licking the beaters and as always -when eating something so full of sugar- think about the calories I've expended during the day when I come to the realization that it's only 1 mile to the back fence line. Drat. Ah well, the beaters are licked. And my jeans still fit.

The skiers. We finally hear from them at 7:45. They are just getting into the truck after having a blast all day. Nolan was braving the moguls...time to go home! Seeing as how they're 2 hours away we decide the cake will happen without them.

Avrie falls off the couch and her arm is "loose." This is a serious matter that calls for a delicious distraction. Cut into the ugly thing. The first slice falls apart. The second as well. The third - the side falls off. The verdict? While unstable...it's certainly delicious. It's almost pretty. It's not too rich, not too sweet; it's just about right. Not unlike this life I'm living. Life is hard work. It's the most time consuming thing we'll ever do. There's instability. But, at the end of the day--it's just about right.

~Frazzled and Settled and Content~

*I say this to sound like I have some inkling to what it means to be a country girl. When, in reality, I drove a tractor once and never did farm chores. Instead, I read my way through the local library and religiously tanned in front of a fan next to the pool while drinking copious amounts of Crystal Light. In retrospect I think I was spoiled. Granted, this only lasted until I was old enough to get a job. But, still. Oh, and let's not forget the angst over that boy and that boy and this boy and that other boy. There was always that. Sigh. Oh, and I had my daily list from Mom: MT DW. W into D. I still struggle with finding joy in dishes and laundry. It's gotta be there.

**In my defense - mayo smeared all over the table is not fun to clean off. And it stinks. Gross.

***Scored me a Wilton caddy at Unique for $2.42. That's a savings of roughly $13. Go me.

****The last cup of tea I drank was in the shower. Why? Mommy was at the end of her rope. Turns out a scalding shower and a cup of double-bagged tea (the kind that will empty me in 12 hours - to make me feel in control/complete/whole/sane*.) savored until the hot water runs out is a delightful thing. I may have locked a child or two downstairs. My memory is a bit fuzzy. This was the same day that I might have said "she's being a brat...you can hit her back." But, like I said, my memory is a bit fuzzy. So, don't go calling CPS or anything. Cuz I could totally be making that up. *Admitting there's a problem is the first step to recovery. Or something. I'm aware. And I'm okay. Most of the time. It's a big ugly monster but most often I can punch back.

9 comments:

Jenny said...

That was hilarious...and I'm totally with you about the OCD thing. I've just never put a name to my affliction. Sometimes I wish I'd loosen up a little so I can enjoy myself without worrying about messes. After all, they'll clean up. Trouble is, I'm the one doing the clean up.
P.S. The cake IS gorgeous. I'm glad it tasted good, too.

Shannon said...

i don't feel like i'm "truly" ocd...because my house can be a mess and i'm okay with it...but, kinda - uh, only if it's MY mess. if it's someone else's it drives me crazy. for example: i can throw my clothes on the bathroom floor and leave them there for two days. but if evan does it? see, i have a problem.

Mindy said...

i think everyone is ocd about something. glad you decided to post this. if you worried about what ppl thought too much you wouldn't be the shannon we know & love!

Mrs Starling said...

This totally pulled me out of my afternoon-need-a-nap-slump... your honesty is so refreshing!!

Jana said...

Hahahaha, Shannon, you are such a kick! I know what you mean about your mess vs others, I can't stand having to clean up after messy kids! Sorry about your cake, but it made for a funny story :)

Danica said...

The cake sounds delish, can you post the recipe? I'm only really OCD about things I bake, or plan to bake with. I think I would have MURDERED someone for destroying my cake and certainly wouldn't have even tried to salvage or eat it. Would have just tossed it all and gone for a mcFlurry. Nice work on the cosmetic surgery. AND i just read your post about the cupcakes. Again, I am almost hyperventilating over it. What torture.

chrisibel said...

hehe! I have the same kind of OCD you do - this place is a mess because all of my books and school stuff and papers, but Mat, can you PLEASE hang up your jackets in the closet??
Loved reading this!

Mj said...

excuse me while i clear off the snot that has been snorted onto the computer screen. oh how i love your writing. i want you to write a book so i can laugh and cry and get mad and feel your angst every step of the way. your mind is a little warped like mine is and i love it only i can't explain it like you can so it's so entertaining for me to read my mind written down for me like you. only i never have wanted to go to culinary school and you have me curious what sort of tea you double bag for yourself ....hmm. always a mystery to figure out. sounds like a nummy cake. i was so mad at that pork loin , tho' that i could have hit something. and...i love this line: " ..In retrospect I think I was spoiled...". hilarious. thank you.

Anita said...

Yes- please do the recipe- (I didn't miss it did I?)
And- Ok- I laughed. You did a great job writing it up! ;)